Introducing .... Slow Moe

Hello. I am the Stegasaurus Ribbonus, from the Cretaceous Creatures age.

But you can call me Slow Moe.

I existed in ancient times, when I would mosey along the ribbon riverbank and pull up ribbony weeds to chew eeeeeeever soooo sloooooowly. They're what gives me my wonderful ribbon colours.

At night I would sleep in a nest made out of lace and braid, snuggled in next to the French knots with my snores gently punctuating the night air. Fern fronds would curl around me.

But I'm not just a pretty face, you know. These ribbons aren't just decoration, they're my defence as well. I'm slow-moving freight, so I need something to protect myself with, and these dandies do the job just fine. What pterodactyl would swoop down on me and try to get through these babies?

And I'm pretty thick-skinned too - everybody says so. Sticks and stones, insults, criticism, you name it - they just roll right off me, thanks to this textured hide. It's made from teal upholstery fabric by Warwick Fabrics. Isn't it the perfect colour?

I've moved to Sydney already to live with the Sober Judge and the Sister Of My Heart, but you'll be able to see one of my long-lost cousins in person at the Skirt and Shirt market down at Abbotsford Convent on Sunday 16 August. Come by and say hi .... I've had no one to talk to for thousands of years, ever since I've been extinct, and I'm looking forward to a bit of conversation.

But now it's time to go. I've got an appointment to get to, and if I don't shift my butt I'll be late.

They don't call me Slow Moe for nothing, you know.

(Plus, I only have two legs. Seeya.)