Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My life on the set of an adult movie

This post title should pick up some interesting readers from Google search pages! It's deliberately provocative, I admit, and the reality is not quite as the title suggests.

(.... maybe it will help boost my Followers list though, as I seem to be slowly losing followers while I'm over here and writing less about sewing and craft than I used to. Don't worry readers! There will still be sewing! Yet every time I lose a follower it's like a little piece of my heart quietly dies ....)

I'm in a bit of a melodramatic mood today, and I'm sure it has something to do with my environment. I've moved into a new flat, you see, and it is .... interesting.

Here in Bahrain it's terribly easy to find somewhere to live. You drive around the residential areas, and most of the blocks have a phone number on the side of the building. You ring up, enquire about whether there is anything available, and if there is you can usually see it on the spot. Which is exactly what I did.

No jostling with a hundred other people during a half-hour inspection time, no tiresome filling out of application forms with your blood type, shoe size, and offer to donate your firstborn child, no anxious wait to see if the landlord will deign to accept your offer ... just an inspection, an agreement, and a handshake. Done.

So that's how I find myself living in an enormous studio flat on the top floor of a building in Juffair (which is also apparently the suburb where the US Navy is based in Bahrain, ladies - it is overflowing with servicemen, I discovered a few nights ago when I ventured out for the first time).

I love this flat. It is half the size of our house at home, it has everything I need in it, it's on the top floor kind of under the pool area - it's like the little dovecote of Victorian times; the place to go for peace and solitude.

Never mind that it looks like a porn set, then, with its gigantic four-poster bed covered in a slippery satin duvet. And its giant full-length mirror. And its dark, heavy curtains. And its modern, matching dark wood furniture. And its leopard-print shower curtain. And its e-NOR-mous flat-screen tv fixed to the wall.

Never mind that it looks even MORE like a porn set at night, as if that were possible, when the entire flat is gently bathed in the bright red glow from the enormous sign that loudly proclaims RAMEE SUITES 2 from the top of the building nearby.

No, never mind. It's mine, it's perfectly located, it has a wonderful building manager whom I've already got wrapped around my little finger, and for now, it's home.

Now please excuse me while I just do a quick sweep of the place to check for cameras .....


Posie Patchwork said...

Too hilarious!! My husband is just back from the Middle East so i have my very on live-in serviceman right here. I haven't been to Bahrain for years, we used to fly over (fuel stop) on the way from Asia to Europe & the airport was a tin shed but always heavily armed guards, scary when you're like 4 years old!! Enjoy your adventure & yes, i sigh when my followers fall off - ouch, love Posie

ange_moore said...

I love the title to your post and hope it helps to boost your followers (although they may want some more porny pictures)?!? Glad you've settled in and now have somewhere to call home for the next 3 months. BTW - how did the interview go the other day, for the Melbourne job?

Isabella Golightly said...

Followers? Mine come & go like autumn leaves on a windy day - 20, 21, 20, 21... and I never know why. I love your blog just how it is, unlike some blogs which appear to be rooted in la la land from a perpetual state of drug-induced happiness, yours is real, interesting and different, sewing or no.