It's that time of the week again .... time to Love Fridays. Today I Love Friday because I'm wearing a new dress, and it's totally unlike anything else that I own. I'm absolutely hooked on it. It's a Fashionable Friday post. Brace yourselves.
It. Is Tulip. Shaped.
Yes, you heard correctly. A tulip dress! The kind of dress that accentuates your booty! The kind of booty that I always try to cleverly disguise!
(I am giving you time to pause here, and recover your composure before reading on.)
AND, not only is this dress tulip-shaped, as if that weren't bad enough, the skirt is then actually also deliberately pulled in where it ends at the knee, by a wide cream stretchy jersey band. Which accentuates the already tulip-y tulip shape. Like the hobble skirts of olden days.
I NEVER wear tulip skirts or dresses. Or bubble skirts. Or puff skirts. Or tight jeans (or any jeans at all, for that matter). Or anything else that might draw attention to any part of my body that happens to exist below my waistline. Most of my clothes have straight lines: lines that SKIM the booty but do not enhance - let alone draw attention to - the booty. Minimise, more like.
I bought this dress from Ink as a sample. It's made from burnt orange jersey, with three-quarter sleeves and a close-fitting bodice that's edged in the same cream jersey as the hobble-band.
And there's a cream jersey sash that ties at the back, and the bow rests just at the small of my back, so the ends hang down and dangle tantalisingly around the booty area, which draws even more attention - if it were possible - to that vast tract of land.
I don't quite know what possessed me to buy it. I do love the colour, but normally I would recoil from something as overtly ... not sexy, per se, because it's got a high neckline and therefore satisfies the prim instinct that usually dominates my style; but this is something different. It's overtly ... curvy, is the best description.
So here I am, at work, in a bright orange clingy jersey booty dress.
It's my birthday tomorrow, see, and I am turning one of those ages that make you stop and think about life.
And you know what I think I decided when I saw this dress? I decided that it's time for a change. Time to highlight everything I usually try to hide. Time to own the flair and the flaws that make me who I quintessentially am. To recognise the booty inside of me ... the inner booty.
So I'm here to announce: I have booty, world! And if Beyonce can be proud of her ass-ets, then so can I!
And just to complete the picture, I have matched it with steel grey opaque tights, and terrifically polished grey patent leather t-bar wedges. I figure, if I'm going to draw attention with this outfit, I might as well totally rock it.